tiny hiatus because i’m going away for a bit and i’m too tired to set up a queue
3/30:lists
French
french is a pretty language. french sounds smooth and cute and smart and knowing french gives you a pass to an awful lot of amazing research which obviously is better in its native language.
Spanish
spanish is amazing because it’s spoken widely in all parts of the americas, and in addition also spain. when considering a job in journalism, like i currently am, it would be quite daft to not try and acquire at least basic knowledge of french.
Latin
latin is one of those languages that makes it an awful lot easier to learn new languages. the majority of european languages was at least partly based on this language, and even with my mediocre knowledge of latin there are so many words, constructions, and language evolutions i understand better just because they have their roots in latin.
Irish
irish is one of those languages that just fascinates me. the alternative pronunciation and lack of courses in my vicinity are currently the main barriers i am facing, but bit by bit i am realizing the pronunciation in irish sounds a lot like dutch, it’s just written down completely different. since i am planning on doing most of my university study in ireland, i’d love to have at least a basic grip on this.
English
english. the key to the world, if you ask me. if i had to single out just one decision that made my life so far, it’d be teaching myself english in 2006, when i was ten, going on eleven. i taught myself by watching shows, and interacting on forums, and i personally think that by 2008 i was pretty much internet-fluent, at least in the reading/listening/writing departments. i have been adding bits and pieces to my knowledge these past four years, but since school is on such a low level in terms of english, i rely on the internet, and at a certain point that just stagnates. i am hoping to work something out with my english teachers the next two years, to prepare myself for university-level english, and to give me something to do in that class. i will honestly commit if i have to endure two more years of terrible dutch pronunciation and people who can’t seem to grasp the very basics of grammatical conjugation.
JULY 25th - SELF PORTRAIT
Absolutely exhausted
WISHLIST: LOST: The Complete Collection
Somehow I’m to blame
For this never-ending racetrack you call life
This quote, this tiny little quote. I recall it being written on a blog somewhere, and realizing it was true. My issues at that time, all the problems I ran into, they always came back to someone else. My problems were never my problems because I couldn’t deal with them, I attributed to someone else. Anything to get the pressure off me. It was the easiest thing, to just get out all the anxiety and anger. Maybe I wasn’t blaming the right person — I truly wasn’t — but it helped. And she took it. Again and again. Until after a while, and this was in a title, or a header, or a tag. I don’t quite remember.
So turn right
Into my arms
Turn right
You won’t be alone
You might fall off this track sometime
Hope to see you on the finish line
I fell off a lot of tracks. Day after day after day. I think I spent the majority of those few years half-slung over a track, waiting for anything — literally anything — to just come and run me over. To just finish it. But ‘hope to see you on the finish line’. Hope that after all of this, we see each other, and congratulate each other on making it. On getting there. On getting over whatever struggles we are facing right now.
I did all I could
I gave everything
But you had to go your way
And that road was not for me
Giving everything. Doing all you can. It not being enough. It taught me that roads intersect, and then they grow apart, and then they come together again, and then everything repeats. It taught me that keeping roads together because you want them to be helps nobody. It only causes tension that shouldn’t be there. It taught me that things happen, and things change, and trying to undo that is pointless. You don’t win from nature.
So turn right
Into my arms
Turn right
You won’t be alone
You might fall off this track sometimes
Hope to see you on the finish line
Hope to see you on the finish line. When I was alone, this gave me hope. This reminded me that some day, things would be okay. Someday I’d see the people I was missing, and things would be fine. Mistakes would be forgiven and peace would be made.
Hope to see you on the finish line. It’s painted on my wall in huge letters, to remind myself every single day. To remind myself of you, and of everything you taught me. To remind myself that it’s okay to grow apart. That it will happen again. And that I should cherish the moments I get, even if they never seem to be enough.
